Present Tense Sin

Growing up in the church, I was very good about hiding my brokenness. In church culture, it’s okay to have struggled with sin so long as your iniquities are written in the past tense. In fact, if you have an exciting testimony that includes things like narcotics and loose women, your decision to turn to Jesus is lauded as all the more dramatic: evidence of the true power of Christ to win over a heart. I’m not trying to be facetious here, and I’ve been blown away on countless occasions by the drastic life-change that occurs when someone decides to repent of their former ways and follow down the path of Jesus. The point I’m trying to make is this: once you’re in the door, it’s not as easy to talk about the brokenness and sin that still remains. Sanctification is, in a sense, viewed less as a lifelong process and more as an event that’s captured in a moment or a prayer. 

Personally, I don’t really have a past tense that excludes Jesus. I knelt down on my knees in my living room when I was in 1st or 2nd grade and asked that Jesus would come into my heart. I remember this moment vividly, and I truly believe that I made an important and life-altering decision at the point in time (young as I was). Here’s what didn’t happen in that moment: I did not suddenly become righteous and obedient to God. Now, you might argue that in a sense I did become righteous – what with atonement theory (1 Cor 6:11) and the work of the cross and resurrection. But in my Christian walk – as a follower of Jesus – I have struggled mightily against the flesh. I’ve had days where I felt I’ve lived a life completely unworthy of my calling. I’ve struggled with gnawing guilt and regret. In short, I am simultaneously a Christian and a broken man.

I now find myself in my mid-twenties working in vocational ministry in a job that I love, surrounded by Godly men and women who consistently encourage me in my walk. But the tendency to hide and to sweep my brokenness under the rug remains. I buy into the lie that I must at least appear to have my crap together, because you aren’t really allowed to have your crap in too much disarray at this stage in the game, especially if you’re getting a paycheck from a church. But in the midst of that lie I am met with a whisper:

The truth will set you free.

The most damaging blow you can deliver to your sin is to expose it. Confess it. Drown it in light.

As I move forward on my journey with Jesus, that is my intention. I want to live a life that’s characterized by transparency, accountability, and a reliance upon the grace of God – not upon my own contrived versions of self-righteousness. We cannot grow spiritually if that which haunts us remains tucked away in the shadows. It must be brought out. This is not easy, and this is counter to our human nature, to be certain. But it is necessary and it is freeing and it is beautiful.

The 10 2011 Albums I Most Enjoyed

Alright friends, it’s that time of year again. I’ve been on somewhat of a hiatus from blogging regularly on account of writing songs for a full-length record, but I felt the need to pop my head in for a TOP TEN ALBUMS post. Without further ado, here they are:

10. Imagine Dragons – It’s Time

The above video isn’t the studio recording, but I loved it so much that I felt compelled to include it here. Songwriting like that found on It’s Time shows a promising future for these guys. This band has the potential for huge success, and I’ll be rooting for them.

9. Radical Face – The Family Tree: The Roots

Radical Face is a solo project of Ben Cooper, who also forms 1/2 of the electronic duo Electric President (highly recommended). The melodies and lyricism on the album kept drawing me back for more. This is a concept album, and it’s one of three (two are forthcoming) albums that narrate a multi-generational story of a fictional family. If that sounds ambitious, it’s because it is. But Cooper has the chops to pull it off.

8. The Civil Wars – Barton Hollow

I first caught wind of The Civil Wars at a conference I attended in Waco, Texas. I’d never heard of them before, and at the time they had yet to officially release an album. Their live performance was absolutely captivating, even when they were stripped down to a piano and a weathered acoustic guitar that looked like it had been dusted off in an estate sale. Impeccable harmonies, great lyric writing, and ridiculous chemistry make The Civil Wars one of 2011′s most exciting debut artists.

7. All Sons & Daughters – Brokenness Aside EP No. 1

All Sons & Daughters are a worship songwriting duo that value honesty and transparency in writing worship music. This EP has been in heavy rotation ever since I got my hands on it, and I’d consider it a big inspiration on the worship music that I’m currently writing.

6. Iron & Wine – Kiss Each Other Clean

I’ll admit it, there’s a soft spot in my heart for anything that Sam Beam lays down, and this album was no exception. The melodies and overall mood of this album made it one of my early favorites this year, and little has changed since then.

5. O’Brother – Garden Window

This album is so HUGE in every way. It’s clearly influenced by heavy 00′s rock while staying rooted in indie sensibilities. Guest appearances by Manchester Orchestra’s Andy Hull definitely help take this thing from good to great. The aggressive vocals and in-your-face guitars make this an album that demands your attention. Highly recommended.

4. Radiohead – The King of Limbs

Radiohead is kind of a shoe-in on a list like this, right? I mean, they’re arguably one of the best bands that is currently making music. But truth be told, this album didn’t grab me right away. Repeated listens and time spent with this record, however, really won me over. Is it their best? No. It clocks in pretty short, and features a couple of tracks that could be described as head-scratchers. This is, however, a band that is unflinchingly committed to pushing the sonic envelope and staying fresh with each new release. King of Limbs is an amazing effort, and any criticism thrown at it only carries merit in light of Radiohead’s towering past discography, which admittedly has some brighter moments than we find here. All that aside, King of Limbs is an amazing record.

3. Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues

The sophomore release from the kings of modern folk proved to cement their status as some of the best living songwriters alive. This wasn’t a rehashing of 2008′s self-titled masterpiece, though it did draw on many of the elements that made that release so successful. Helplessness Blues is an unabashed baring of the soul, expressing the heartache and feelings of rootlessness that sometimes accompany the twentysomething life stage.

2. Bon Iver – Bon Iver

Justin Vernon clearly spent some formative musical years in the 1980s, and he wears those influences with pride here. Normally, this would be a huge turn-off for me. But the way Vernon channels Phil Collins and employs saxophone solos while staying true to his geography-influenced songwriting and atmospheres made it so I could not help but love this record. I really respected the fact that this was a clear departure from the sparse, acoustic feel of For Emma, Forever Ago. A slew of instruments have been added to Bon Iver’s toolbox (most notably, an extensive use of electric guitars). This was my number one record of 2011, hands down, until…

1. Gungor – Ghosts Upon The Earth

This album is undoubtedly my favorite release of 2011. I wrote a long-form review earlier this year, which was published over at Burnside Writer’s Collective. If you decide to pick up one record from this list, this one should be it.

Alright friends, what did I miss? Do you agree/disagree with these selections? Leave me a comment!

Album Update: Writing & Vision

As promised, I’ve decided to check in with the handful of you that read this blog and let you know where I’m at with writing this worship album. I wish I could devote more time to blogging, as I really enjoy it, but when I have the time to sit down and put in the mental energy needed to craft a good blog post, it usually means that I’m working on writing songs instead. As of today, I’m in the middle of writing the 5th song. I’m hoping to continue writing at a fairly fast pace as I’m aiming to have around 15 completed songs when it comes time to begin practicing with a full band in March. From that point, we’ll pare things down and select the 10 songs that best fit the vision of the record and those will be the songs that ultimately get recorded. So far, here’s what that vision consists of:

1. Honesty. My aim is to write songs that truly reflect where I’m at in my walk with God currently. When writing worship music, it’s easy for me to write songs while keeping the congregation in mind without taking stock of my own heart. Sometimes I’ll get caught up on coming up with a catchy melody or a clever chorus and lose sight of the songs that reside in my soul. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with writing songs with a specific congregation in mind (or even the capital “C” Church as a whole). That’s completely valid. But my aim here is to write a record that weighs my own feelings and circumstances, much like David did in crafting a lot of the psalms. I believe that people can relate to that on a deep level, and I think there’s something to be said for writing music that’s honest and genuine.

A tangle of cords from the Albatross Fly recording session in 2009

2. Musical Excellence. I’m trying to stretch myself musically and think outside of the 4-chord, verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus template. Artists like Gungor, Crowder and John Mark McMillan are huge inspirations in this regard. I’d also like to include some non-guitar instruments when it comes time to record things. I’m looking to line up a cellist, and maybe even a saxophone player. I’ll be playing piano on some of the tracks. I’d also like to include a couple of other vocalists aside from myself.

3. Accessibility. Once this thing is done, I’ll be trying to figure out a way to get this record into the hands of as many worship leaders and worshippers as possible. This may even mean releasing the record digitally as a free download (perhaps via Noisetrade), and then printing a more limited number of physical copies for those who would like to pay for the record. I’m all about albums that have great artwork and liner notes that serve as a meaningful supplement to the album (and I’m gonna be looking for a graphic designer who really understands this record), but I also want to make sure that if someone wants this music, they can get it for cheap or even for free. On the other hand, I would like to end up with a minimal amount of debt when all is said and done. We’ll see.

So that’s where I’m at. I’ll continue to update you on this process as it unfolds. I’ve really enjoyed writing these songs, and I can’t wait to share them with you!

“God Hates, Right Now, Personally, Objectively Hates Some of You.”

I came across a video a few days ago, and it got my brain wheels spinning. It was a chunk of a sermon on the wrath of God that megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll delivered to his congregation last week. The video, originally posted on Mars Hill’s YouTube channel (no affiliation with Bell’s Mars Hill), has been curiously removed. The quote from the sermon that got me thinking was this:

Some of you, God hates you. Some of you, God is sick of you. God is frustrated with you. God is wearied by you. God has suffered long enough with you. He doesn’t think you’re cute. He doesn’t think it’s funny. He doesn’t think your excuse is “meritous” [sic]. He doesn’t care if you compare yourself to someone worse than you, He hates them too. God hates, right now, personally, objectively hates some of you.

Now, I realize it’s a bit unfair to pull a quote from a sermon devoid of its context, and I wish I could post the whole video for you to watch. Suffice it to say, I was left uneasy by what Mark had to say. The uneasiness came because I imagined all of the nonbelievers who inevitably watched this video and concluded that God must not want anything to do with them. After all, who in their right mind would desire to draw near to a God who “personally” and “objectively” hates them? If anyone was motivated to repent and change on account of Driscoll’s words, I fear that it was likely due to an overwhelming sense of guilt and a failure to “measure up” to the unattainable standard of holiness demanded by God which is ultimately only made possible by the power of the blood of Jesus. In Romans, we’re told that it’s the kindness of God that leads us to repentance (2:4).

Elsewhere in the sermon Driscoll states that God’s wrath is mentioned more often in the Bible than the love of God. This led me to do a quick word search on the word “wrath” in scripture. It’s important to note that the argument cannot be made that God’s wrath is exclusive to the Old Testament. Indeed, there are many references to the “coming wrath” of God that will unfold in the second coming of Christ (see the verse that immediately follows Romans 2:4 – “you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath,” and also Ephesians 5:6 or Revelation 14:10, to name just a few). The wrathful God of the Hebrew Old Testament is the same God today and forever. He does not change.

But with Jesus, something did change.

The crux of the New Testament is the Good News of the Gospel, which is the ultimate solution to the wrath of God. Reflect on the liberating truth found in Romans chapter 9:22-26:

What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction?  What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory—  even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? As he says in Hosea:

“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people;
and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one,”

and,

“In the very place where it was said to them,
‘You are not my people,’
there they will be called ‘children of the living God.’”

The case can soundly be made that the wrath of God is being stored up for those who resist His free gift of grace in Jesus. I do not disagree with pastor Driscoll on this point. Our American version of Christianity can oftentimes conveniently omit the holy wrath of God while solely focusing on His abundant love. But how can this learned pastor claim from the pulpit that God personally hates someone? God is holy, and he hates injustice. He loves with a red-hot jealousy. Apart from Christ’s atonement, the Father cannot look upon sin. Jesus is the only means of reconciliation. But I cannot find a scriptural basis for claiming that God hates those who are far from Him. On the contrary, it seems that Jesus intentionally pursued and sought out those who were lost in sin and darkness in order that they might be brought into fellowship with their Creator.

I just don’t know what to do with Driscoll’s words. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter. I’m not a theologian, and I certainly don’t know my Bible like pastor Mark does. But this sermon bothered me to my core, and I felt compelled bring this up as a topic of discussion.

 

 

Throwing Rocks at Rob

Twitter was abuzz last Thursday as Rob Bell formally announced his resignation from Mars Hill, a church he founded in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Bell plans to devote more time and energy to some “strategic opportunities.” Much as I was discouraged by all of the criticism aimed at Bell prior to his release of the controversial bestseller Love Wins (that is to say, before anyone had actually read the book), I was disheartened by the reaction of the Christian community in the wake of Thursday’s announcement. Below are a string of tweets from pastor and bestselling Christian author Rick Warren.

This bothered me because nowhere in the official announcement of his resignation on the Mars Hill website did Rob say that he was resigning for the sole purpose of pursuing speaking tours without any sort of accountability and support network in place. It just seemed like the conclusion Mr. Warren jumped to was, well, quite a large leap. Mr. Warren has an enormous following, and he’s a highly respected leader in evangelic circles for good reason. There are people who are going to take his word as Gospel, whether he likes it or not. A discrediting of Rob Bell from Rick Warren is a very large rock.

As noted above, this incident comes not long after the controversy of the release of his New York Times besteller Love Wins. Now, I’d like to make my own stance clear regarding Bell’s teaching and approach to theology. In short, I don’t agree with all of it. I read Love Wins back in March and I had a lot of problems with it. Still, much of his teaching and writing has been hugely meaningful and influential in my own life, and nothing I’ve observed has led me to believe that Rob’s love for Jesus is anything less than passionate and authentic. Admittedly, there are many people who are outrightly dismissing Rob Bell that are far more intelligent and learned than I am. My aim is not to vilify those who are directing criticism at Rob, be it merited or not. Pastors, even influential ones with big book deals, are human beings too and they’re plenty capable of making mistakes that are fueled by emotions. Rob treads on holy ground when he tosses aside certain doctrine that has been held sacred by the Church for hundreds of years. Responses like Piper’s earlier this year, are, among other things, understandable.

That said, I think there’s something to be learned from all of this. We need to think very hard and very carefully before we throw stones at someone’s decisions relating to ministry and following Christ. Yes, truth and orthodoxy are worth defending. The Bible and the Church fathers and mothers who have gone before us provide us with a firm foundation of truth that we can firmly set our feet upon. But there is a right way to go about defense and debate, and I think we’ve witnessed plenty of the wrong way. There have been personal attacks and slights at Rob’s character that remind me far too much of American politics. It’s so discouraging.

Beyond that, I have a big problem with dismissing the validity and worth of someone’s entire ministry on the basis of him or her saying or writing something that I may disagree with. I don’t agree with much of Rob’s view on the afterlife. But does that mean that he is to be forever branded with the label of “false teacher?” Bell’s views are actually fairly in line with much of what C.S. Lewis had to say about the afterlife, and while theologians may disagree with Lewis’ take on these matters, we treasure much of Lewis’ writings to this day (more on that here if you are interested). So much of Rob’s ministry is furthering the message of Jesus. He’s reaching people with the Gospel that would not otherwise be reached. Do we cast all of this aside and label him an ear-tickling false teacher because he subscribes to a different view of hell?

I’m excited for the next chapter in Rob’s ministry. He’s been given an enormous platform in this nation, and many who are outside of the church walls are listening to what he has to say. He will now devote his focus to reaching an audience of people who have yet to drink the living water that Jesus offers – those beyond the walls of his church and his podcast subscribers. To me, this is very exciting, and I would like to believe that Rob will be a good steward of his fame and newfound audience. Time will tell, I suppose. As it stands now, I wholly support Rob and his efforts to reach a nation of people who are in desperate need of Jesus.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.